DearScotty

“I am not a baseball fan and you are not my father” - Hosaka-kun, 1st year.  Some kids were playing cards before class started so I stood by and watched.  I had no idea what they were playing so I commented on the cards themselves.  I’m still hoping to catch them playing cards using a deck of nude 80’s models picked up at some Japanese version of Spencer’s or Dooh Dah’s, but they were playing with american money cards.  Thought I’d ask who was on the hundred since we like singing about the Benjamins in America.  I was informed it was Frankenstein.  Huh?  Who?  I told the girl, “No, that’s Benjamin Franklin.” “Oh! Yes, Benyameen Flawnkenstein!” 

So lunch today.  I finally got the mini fish dish I’ve heard so much about.  Today’s rice was topped with those baby fish things.  I tried to be a sport and eat it but I felt like Wimpy from Popeye who can never seem to make that plate of burgers go away.  I just kept on eating it, but the fish wouldn’t go away.  In fact, I think the fish were multiplying faster than I could eat them.  I really need to learn the kanji for this dish so I can pack my lunch next time.

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Try to stop imagining tacos whirling around on ice skates dancing to the sounds of Disney’s Mexico on Ice. Although the show is still running in El Salvador and has been running for 72 weeks straight, I want to draw your attention away and onto the Japanese Buffet. Last weekend, Theresa and I went to Canal City in Fukuoka so we could admire this six story shopping center wrapped around a man-made canal. We had “gelato,” watched some hip-hop dancers, and a guy doing his best to tap dance. That made us a bit hungry so we decided to eat at the buffet.

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Who’s coming with me?

Lunch sucks. Invisible bones that are impossible to pick out from fish hurt when you chew on them. I don’t know how they can go from chicken nuggets to this. I know they’ve tasted good food before. Why do they torture themselves? I’m returning the food pictured below just as it is. “Sorry for not being polite and polishing off the entire tray.”

Tonight I watched Flight of the Navigator while pounding down a can of refried beans with chips and salsa thanks to Costco.  Yesterday we had picked up some goodies and had them delivered.  The box of goodies arrived tonight.  Although I’m full, and the kids are going to be in for a real international experience courtesy of Rosarita beans, I feel that costco sucks.  I always knew it sucked and you actually don’t save any money, but now I mean it sucks because they don’t have anything to choose from.  Maybe it was this Japanese version of Costco with its ten pound bags of MSG and pillow cases filled with little dried fish but, I’m not sure if I will be going back there anytime soon.  In other news I just figured out how to use my face recognition system on my phone.  The only person that can access my phone is me and anyone else unfortunate enough to share my face… Sweeeeeet.

I am now sharing a balcony with my neighbor because the dividing wall that once separated our lives has flown off and is swirling around town somewhere. It’s a kind of fun listening to things rattle outside but I’m a bit paranoid that some kid’s javelin that was left out after sports day is about to go flying through the window and strike me square between the eyes. Well If I don’t post in a few days, be sure to check youtube for some footage of an american ripped to pieces by a typhoon in Japan.

Thursday was the opening ceremony for sports day at the elementary school and also my first day of teaching there. The ceremony took place outside on their all dirt multi-purpose field. Apparently in Japan, they don’t believe in grass, even the baseball fields are all dirt. So the kids lined up according to grade and were forced to sing songs about sports day and the town. If the kids weren’t singing a teacher would be sure to shake the kids furiously and point their heads to the conductor. I love their group spirit here!

After they sang their songs a new track blasted over the PA. Then the lines began running towards the outside of the field accompanied with whistles and shouting. Then it hit me. Da Daa Daa Da… Da Daa Daaaaaaah. They were running to Rocky! Truly the best part of my day. I taught fifth and six grade and the kids were really awesome. They paid attention, seemed interested in me, and even participated. I don’t know at what point they become the lifeless junior high kids but it must be an agonizing process. I also learned that my phone is much more interesting than myself. I wanted to take some video of the kids and when they saw my phone I was attacked by half the class. They begged me to flip my phone so they could see the TV. I will post some video of the kiddos soon.

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Yesterday I decided to bail on the summer camp and opted to stay in bed all day.  Since I was playing hooky that meant I couldn’t answer the phone, so I was in “hiding.”  Around 5 at night I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize so I let it hit voice mail.   15 minutes later my door bell rings, and I’m thinking shit, they’re here to take me to the camp so, I freeze up and hope they don’t see the lights on in the house, then my phone starts ringing!  Shit, it’s right by the front window which means who’s ever outside can hear my phone.  I go jump on my bed to muffle it and wait about five minutes to check the two voicemails.  The first message sounded like a crazed woman “ugh”ing at me.  The second message was the same woman talking in Japanese and all I could make out was “telephone.”   I searched through my numbers on my cell to figure out who it couldn’t have been, and then after seeing a teacher’s name, realized that it was another teacher who came to pick me up for the enkai (drinking party) that I had completely forgotten aobut!  I knew I couldn’t miss this one, so I called back and told her I was in the toilet.  She gave me five minutes to get ready. 

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This post comes straight from a 24hr internet cafe in Fukuoka City.  You see, Theresa and I apparently got on the wrong train and by the time we returned to the station we had missed the last train.  So we`re sharing a booth with two computers for about 15 bucks each; Not bad, it beats cheap hostel prices plus, this place has free drinks, there`s also showers and spas available.  This place is a bit creepy though.  It`s darkly lighted and there are around 200 computers.  You get this eerie feeling that in some basement at microsoft headquarters there must be a room filled with Japanese people entering code for all those stupid XP updates and it looks just like this place.  Well, I`m going to crash.  I have a summer camp to attend tomorrow.

Today’s lunch sure beats yesterday’s fishless fish soup. I had never been so excited to see a bowl of tofu in front of me before today. Yesterday’s fishless fish soup was quite awful. I think it had chunks of shrimp and, I suppose those chunks are what made yesterday’s fishless fish soup, fish soup. I thought today was the best lunch so far because it had tempura fish, white rice without mysterious mini fish inside, good soup, and a dessert item! Jackpot on the dessert! That is until I opened up what I thought was going to be a pineapple jelly, and smelled the sourest piece of seaweed on earth. I told the office staff that I couldn’t finish after one bite. The secretary grabbed her dictionary and I learned it was called gelidium jelly. Of course, I have no clue what the hell that is, but it just drove the nail in further that I shouldn’t be eating it.

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