DearScotty

Two weekends ago many schools in the area held their sports day. My school was one of these schools. What is sports day exactly? I’m not the guy who can answer this, but I can tell you it’s a culmination of month’s worth of practice. Has this grueling schedule of practices paid off? Was sports as exciting as it sounds?

Not really.

So the rainy season is slowly creeping upon us. And what does this mean for me? It means riding my bike in the rain while sweating my ass off. It’s an odd thing, holding an umbrella and switching hands quickly just so you have enough time to wipe the sweat from your brow. What’s scary is that it’s only May and the rainy season doesn’t really kick in until late June. Expect me to call out sick.

Two weekends ago we had our Sports Day. It would’ve been more appropriate to call it Running Day, seeing as the only thing the kids did was run around a dirt track barefooted. I’ll post a video of highlights shortly. I’m not in the mood to sift through my stock footage of junior high kids running around in circles.

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A cousin reminded my dying grandma that heaven had streets of gold. This well intended bit of information only seemed to aggravate grandma because it made heaven sound cold and not comforting. Can anyone really find comfort in an image of a golden heaven? What would the point of gold be? I mean, it’s not platinum! Why would earthly luxuries be in heaven? I thought I’d share my simple road map to a goldless heaven.

First, we need to stop fearing death. Death is as natural as birth and possibly more special. You only get to die once and why not make it a special event? It’s like being born except this time you’ll be more aware of what you are experiencing. It will be a great feeling to let go, to let yourself rejoin the stars. You see, you won’t actually die. You, in a way will evaporate from your “self” and be absorbed back into the universe of which you’ve always been a part of. Your body, if not disturbingly kept from naturally decaying, will nourish the earth and more life will grow from it. Your spirit or soul will be absorbed by the cosmic self who was having a ball playing the character of You. Now, where’s heaven?

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Who’s your favorite?

ottoman otaman

I’ve joined the masses and created a Lolcat of my own. I spared this guy’s life and ate the rooster thus allowing him to live a few more days until hungry Vietnamese tore him apart.

The turtle soup didn’t sound so bad after knowing they eat cat soup. Poor poor lol kitty. He can’t has cheezburger, kitty is cheezburger.

Having used up the last of the Kleenex, I made a special trip to the grocery store for some good old TP. I guess this is my chance to tell you about Super Daiei! It must be one of the worst grocery stores in Japan. It’s a florescent oasis of bad deals and limited selection. While listening to a radio blast this week’s specials, you can buy a few chopped up pineapple hunks for three bucks, or a package of wilted strawberries for ten. If you’re also in the summer fruit mood you can buy cantaloupes for twenty dollars (have been around 40 dollars at other stores). We also have apples for nearly 2 bucks a pop and that, well, completes the fruit section at my store. Anyways, I needed toilet paper but the only option is a 24 pack tower of toilet paper. It’s very huge and isn’t something you want to be seen holding while trying to keep your balance on your bicycle. Also just purchasing it without other items makes you feel a bit strange and I didn’t want to have to pretend to anyone that I was merely purchasing this mass of tp so I could use the brown tubes for a science project.

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What is Golden Week? I’m not really sure but it has something to do with taking a vacation in celebration of children, trees, constitutions, substitutes, and Showa. For me though, it means escaping the robot factory and traveling over seas. For 10 days Theresa and I enjoyed a relaxing time in Boracay, Philippines, Hong Kong and Macau (note: the final two days were spent on the potty).

Our first full day was spent at Hong Kong Disney. Did you know Goofy sounds just as much a retard in Chinese as he does in English? GuhhAAARshoo! The park is very similar to all the Magic Kingdoms except it’s missing quite a few rides. They don’t have an Adventure Land, but they have Pirate Land; A land which doesn’t have Pirates of the Caribbean. Space Mountain was quite dull and the Jungle Cruise isn’t any funnier when you have Mao Ling pointing out the backside of water. Although it has many shortcomings I still felt quite at home on Main Street.

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