DearScotty

Over the past year and half I haven’t been able to get into Japanese pop music. Sure there are many avenues for me to find out about J-pop but I’d really like to steer clear of those dark alleys:

1.) I could talk to my students about who’s hot or not, but they’re just kids and would probably just recommend who’s ever doing the newest McDonald’s ads.
2.) There’s also the occasional Karaoke night out with all the local foreigners where undoubtedly there will be a few who rock at Japanese. Here they must show off their skills by singing some J-pop hits. Those songs usually sound exactly the same, and when drinking is involved, those songs will poof out of existence from my musical memory.
3.) I could always turn on the TV to catch a musical variety show but that would mean having to put up with bizarre commercials that either end unexpectedly or finish with a cheesy jingle that would even make Uncle Jesse cringe.

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It’s been a while since I’ve complained about the school lunch. I’m sure part of it is because I’ve gotten used to most of it but, more importantly, I believe they’ve just stopped making really bad food all together. Well, today they broke their streak of providing decent meals for lunch. Today’s main dish was bird’s nest. I approached my plate with caution as I tried to discern what brown jumbled mess lay before me. I sat down and studied the gunk piling high. It looked like twigs, pine, laundry dryer lint, and other odd things you’d find in a bird’s nest, yet it was darker as if the nest was soaked in black ink. Truly baffled, I asked the secretary next to me what this dish was. She said it was black sea grass and tarp with processed fish. I responded with, “It’s not very pretty is it?” She gave her usual response when asked about odd food dishes and said, “No, it’s not pretty, but it’s healthy.” As she was finishing up her sentence the vice principal entered and dumped his bird nest into the trash. I asked him whether or not he liked the dish. He said, “Diet, I’m on a diet” then proceeded to slap his belly. Immediately I told the secretary, “Guess he doesn’t know it’s healthy.”

Today I signed my intent NOT to re-contract. My two years in small town Japan will be over next July. I will probably have to give a good bye speech to the kids. The usual speech will probably motivate the kids to continue learning English while demonstrating that they’ve changed my life. I’m sure the kids haven’t learned anything, and my life hasn’t changed much. I would love to take the piss but I’m sure it won’t get translated properly. Now that I know the leash is coming off I feel a lot more relaxed, especially in class. I could care less if the kids goof off or attempt to destroy the lesson. Go a head, fine by me. Now that I’m set to start grad school at UCLA in the fall, the students’ lack of joy to play Jeopardy doesn’t bother me a bit..
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As winter moves into full force the sound of “samuii ne?” reverberates throughout the country side. As the birds chirp outside, the Japanese “samuii ne?” inside. It has been rumored that a lost Japanese kid can find his way back to his mother just by the sound of her “samuii ne?” [citation needed] This tired phrase means, “Cold isn’t it?” And it’s probably just a bit more annoying then the summer destroying, “Hot enough for you?”

When you’re inside a classroom exhaling steam puffs and you have to waddle around like a penguin because your feet have frozen solid, I believe it goes without saying that it’s cold. If they have such a big problem with the cold, why not install heaters? Or how bout this amazing piece of technology, Insulation!

After enduring a three hour delay, putting up with screaming kids on the plane, and having a piece of luggage lost, Theresa and I are back in Japan. Thankfully we transitioned nicely since we were welcomed home with a beautiful clear day. Now that school has begun, the skies have been re-tuned to TV gray and are waiting to piss on us. Oh Southern California, how I miss your blue skies and your cool crisp December afternoons.

Christmas recap: Presents were purchased and received. Families and Friends were seen and neglected. Food was eaten and forgotten.

New Years and Vegas recap: Alcohol was consumed and spilled. Balderdash delighted and pained. Money won and lost, but mostly won. Bubble baths were fun and messy. Buffets were conquered and deeply missed. Carnegie Deli sandwiches amazed and perplexed.

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Instead of trying to piece together another Thanksgiving holiday in Japan, Theresa and I abandoned the kitchen and took a night bus to Tokyo. For that taste of home we decided to spend the weekend at Tokyo Disney. Unfortunately for us, our bus arrived in Tokyo around 10am on Friday. We would do Disneyland first since Friday would be our shortest day, but we didn’t expect that it would sell out! We arrived at Disneyland just after 11am and were welcomed with apologies from the overhead announcements informing us that Disneyland had stopped all ticket sales until 5pm that night.

There wasn’t anything we could do but hang out in their version of Downtown Disney which they call Ikspiari. We ate a decent burger and fries meal at Planet Hollywood and enjoyed some coffees at a cute bakery. We went into every shop trying to kill as much time as possible but later decided to wait near the gates until they reopened the ticket booths.

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I’ve learned two things this week. 1. I don’t have the half moon on my pinkie nails any longer. 2. I don’t have to double space after completed sentences. Apparently I’ve held on to the practice of double spacing from the typewriter days. Computers have corrected typewriters with proportional spacing so it makes it easier to catch the difference between sentences.

Because this week is reserved for testing, I have no classes. I also don’t have hair on the top of my pointer finger above the first joint. All my other fingers have hair there. I also completed the 10k gold “fun” level on desktop tower defense with a score of 23,500.

Japan is boring but! but! Theresa and I are going to Tokyo Disney and DisneySea this 3-day weekend. Let the jealousy help warm my frozen toes.

It feels like only recently that I was picking up ice-cold Pocari Sweats on my way to school in the morning. Now, instead of something to cool me off when I reach school, I’m picking up the hot teas and coffees. There’s about one week of autumn where every thing is nice, no rain, partly cloudy, dew sparkles on the rice fields, and a fresh smell in the air. Next thing you know, your hands are freezing, and icicles start forming on your eyebrows. Then all the flashbacks of the horrible winter the year before strike you like a lighting bolt of sleet. Soon, I’ll be wearing ear muffs, two coats, scarves and gloves. The weather is so extreme here that you forget about anything else. When it was steaming hot, I couldn’t imagine how on earth this place could ever cool down. Now that I’ve frozen three toes off, I wonder how this place ever gets warm.

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Patriots vs Colts, the battle of the undefeated. Which powerhouse would come out still holding onto their perfect record? With 10 minutes to go in the fourth quarter and trailing 20-10, the Patriots make a run for the end-zone. Tom Brady does his thing and tosses a short touchdown pass to bring the Patriots within three (after the point after is good). The Colts get the ball back and seem to have something going but after getting hit with a few penalties, have to punt the ball over. The Patriots now have four minutes to take the lead. Oh the suspense!! “Excuse me, I am Kazo. I am English teacher.”

WTF??!!?!?!!!??? Well, I guess that answered my question. Eguchi is gone and replaced by a very young male teacher. He showed me his lesson plan which was all in Japanese and then thanked me. I hadn’t checked my schedule since I knew today was an off day. No Eguchi sensei meant no classes on Monday, which meant football. I was due in his first class in 5 minutes. I was not formally introduced, or informed of Eguchi’s plight.

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As I rode my bike to school today I was passed by this car:

I wasn’t able to tell if the driver was in fact a whore.