DearScotty

I haven’t taught the second year jr. high students since July 9. I almost had a class with them in September but it was canceled since I had a meeting later on in the day. Eguchi sensei approached me and asked if I could present on my summer vacation. Before I could finish telling him that I thought it was a good idea, another English teacher came up to us and told Eguchi that I had a meeting and couldn’t teach that day. I interrupted and said it was OK. I could teach morning class, but would just miss the last class of the day. The other English teacher spoke to Eguchi in Japanese and when that was done, Eguchi apologized to me and said he would teach alone. I haven’t seen him since.

I would like to ask around and find out where the guy is but, I’m afraid that might point out that I haven’t been teaching for a few months. No complaints here. So, Eguchi sensei, if you’re reading this, please let me know how you’re doing. I think you’re a great guy.

I went out for sushi last week and decided to be biter and toss my camera onto the sushi belt express. Prepare for utter sushi awesomeness:

The little girl ratted me out to the chef. Ruined the whole thing. I’ll try again because I really wanted to catch a glimpse of the back kitchen area. The trouble is I don’t really like sushi, so it’ll be awhile until I get another stab at it.

The men’s teacher’s bathroom at school is quite dull with blue tiles from floor to ceiling. In what seemed to be an attempt to snaz up the place, the principal posted up some laminated phrases in English. I’ve mentioned before that we have signs above the toilets that read, “For Better Human Life.” On my way out today I noticed a new proverb on the door, “Inspire The Next.” I wrinkled my noise and in a fit of determination I went to the teacher’s room and downed a cup of coffee and a fiber bar. I will return to that bathroom, I’ve been challenged!

If you’ve ever climbed Mt. Fuji (Fuji-san) or if you’ve ever looked into the climb then there’s no doubt you’ve come across the overused saying, “You’re wise to climb Fuji once and a fool to climb it twice.” A more appropriate way to phrase it might be, “You’re a fool to climb Fuji once and a spazzmatic if you try again.” Since my proverb isn’t the dominating view on Fuji, odds are people are going to keep on climbing. So I offer up my guide to the ten stages of Fuji-san.

Stages 1-5: Do not walk the first half. Take the bus, take a cab, anything but walk it. Nobody except really nutty foreigners bother with this boring part of the hike. You’ll most likely burn all your energy and never catch any great views looking up at Fuji or any views of the neighboring lakes.

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After returning from Eugene and recovering from a killer sinus headache from a painful plane landing, I went to Vegas with the fam damily. The Buffets were nice and the black jack gods seemed to favor me. It was ridiculously hot, but I managed to deal with it since I didn’t have to sweat my ass off like a Japanese school boy practicing tuba on the baseball field in August. Although the food and winnings were nice, I had the most fun playing with my nephew Devin. He is just pure boy. He was casting powerful stunning spells in my direction while wearing the most wicked outfit of all time: Spider man shorts with Ninja Turtle undies riding up; spider man shirt and cape with a Reno 911! police badge; Shark Boy 3D glasses marked his authority; His right hand held a Power Rangers blaster gun, and his left hand tried to grip his collector Darth Maul light saber. Devin is bad ass. So, to tribute lil’ D. I posted a video of some of our horsin’ around.

They prefer to be called Oregonians but those living in Oregon are known as Oregotrons to me and Steve. I drove up to Eugene with Steve about two weeks ago to help him find a place to live while attending Oregon Law School. We stopped in SF and enjoyed a live Infected Mushroom show. That was Steve’s first electronic show and he seemed to like it. After our brief visit to the bay we headed north to the land of… the land of…

The land of tie dye, beards, and heroine. The weather was wonderful, a nice cool August. Contemplating the daily weather; wear a jacket or a sweater. The Oregotrons all seemed quite nice. The drivers use their turn signals, and the 711 clerks are young college students.

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I still got it! 20/15 vision! Yes, my vision balls are better than 20/20. My hawk eyes were confirmed at the mandatory health checkup for city workers. It’s a once a year checkup for anyone employed by the city, so that includes me (not my fellow teachers). I was dressed in my normal polo and khakis teaching gear while the other town workers were dressed as if they were being tested by Gatorade labs. The whole thing was pretty uneventful although, I did get poked a couple times before they found a good vein to withdraw blood from. I’ll learn the results of the blood test when I come back in August, same goes for the urine test.

After donating my urine sample into a plastic coffee sized cup, I got in line to hand in the golden coffee. We weren’t given lids so I was standing in a line of atleast 10 people who were also holding their “coffees.” I had to keep telling myself that it was my pee that I was smelling, my pee. At the front of the line was a table with a girl working behind it. She was sitting down dunking sticks into urine and watching the stick for color changes. In front of her were cups of urine laid out as if a marathon were coming through. I was pretty disgusted when I finally reached the girl since I was able to see into all these cups. But the poor girl didn’t seem to mind that she got stuck at the piss table instead of the blood pressure queue.

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I can’t wait for Taco Bell Taquitos! I just saw a commercial for heaven wrapped in a grilled flour tortilla and now I’m a starvin’ Marvin. The only reason for coming back home in August is for the Crunch Wrap Supreme and Chicken Taquitos!!! (No offence to my loved ones) [Ok. That is all folks]

I managed to get a group off boys to shout, “USA! USA! USA!” in the halls. What a joyous feeling. Kobayashi Takeru got his ass handed to him today by the American Hero, Joey Chestnut (read about it here). There’s a new power eater in town! I told some other teachers about their crushing defeat and some had already heard the news. One teacher tried to explain to me that Kobayashi was injured. I kindly informed her that Kobayashi broke is own record, meaning he was on top of his game, and he still lost!! Chestnut beat him by 3 hot dogs! Poor Kobayashi was helpless, injury or not. Today, I’m all USA!

Boy it’s hot! “It’s not just the heat,” as my dad would say, “It’s the humidity that kills you!” Such wise words spoken like a true guru. Which leads me to believe that my dad is Japanese. Scary I know. I’ve been sweaty all day but thankfully it hasn’t been so bad in the teacher’s room.

I’ll return from class trying to pry the boxers off my soaked legs then enter a nice chilly teacher’s room. Of course, this is Japan and you can’t have too much of a good thing. So someone has to turn off the AC and open all the windows! Now, my butt’s sweating rain drops and my arm hairs are blotting together.

My dad was infamous for coming home after work and opening up all the windows in the house after we had the air conditioning on all day. We couldn’t plead our case that he was just letting all the cold air out and welcoming in the outside heat. The fact that he wouldn’t listen to rationality is just another piece of evidence of his Eastern heritage. If this is the cultural experience I came seeking then I should’ve moved back in with pops. meh?