DearScotty

On my way home from school I spotted this gem:

Maybe this explains why the Japanese don’t trust foreigners. They think we turn into werewolves no matter the time of day or moon cycle. We also have amazing body shrinking skills.

Instead of trying to piece together another Thanksgiving holiday in Japan, Theresa and I abandoned the kitchen and took a night bus to Tokyo. For that taste of home we decided to spend the weekend at Tokyo Disney. Unfortunately for us, our bus arrived in Tokyo around 10am on Friday. We would do Disneyland first since Friday would be our shortest day, but we didn’t expect that it would sell out! We arrived at Disneyland just after 11am and were welcomed with apologies from the overhead announcements informing us that Disneyland had stopped all ticket sales until 5pm that night.

There wasn’t anything we could do but hang out in their version of Downtown Disney which they call Ikspiari. We ate a decent burger and fries meal at Planet Hollywood and enjoyed some coffees at a cute bakery. We went into every shop trying to kill as much time as possible but later decided to wait near the gates until they reopened the ticket booths.

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As I rode my bike to school today I was passed by this car:

I wasn’t able to tell if the driver was in fact a whore.

This guy’s taking LOL-cats to a new level! Bloody brilliant!

strangely familiar…

Last one, I promise!

If you’ve ever climbed Mt. Fuji (Fuji-san) or if you’ve ever looked into the climb then there’s no doubt you’ve come across the overused saying, “You’re wise to climb Fuji once and a fool to climb it twice.” A more appropriate way to phrase it might be, “You’re a fool to climb Fuji once and a spazzmatic if you try again.” Since my proverb isn’t the dominating view on Fuji, odds are people are going to keep on climbing. So I offer up my guide to the ten stages of Fuji-san.

Stages 1-5: Do not walk the first half. Take the bus, take a cab, anything but walk it. Nobody except really nutty foreigners bother with this boring part of the hike. You’ll most likely burn all your energy and never catch any great views looking up at Fuji or any views of the neighboring lakes.

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KitKat has unleashed three new flavors in roughly a month! Not only do we have melon, peach, and cherry KitKats, but now there’s kiwi, pinneapple and orange! Also, in the fun size, they’ve released banana to the existing blueberry and lemon funsize lines. If you’re having a fruit overload, don’t worry. Just take a break with a green tea or white chocolate KitKat. Kid’s stuff you say? Then have a glamorous brandy and orange kitkat or a strawberry and nuts. KitKats are serious business in Japan considering the pinneapples were nearly a buck fifty.

I will be bringing an assortment of KitKats home for souvenirs. Odds are they’ll be gooey and stuck to the wrappers from overheating in the luggage. But, I’m sure they’ll taste the same!

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It’s summer time! How do you cool down to beat the heat? Does a large class of refreshing Ice-T, or maybe a nice juicy red watermelon hit the spot? Well, if you’re like the Japanese and love to cool down with a long thick cucumber then Pepsi has the summer drink sensation for you! What better way to “chill out” then with an Ice Cucumber beverage!

Sadly, if you were hoping a fresh bucket of cucumber juice were to splash on your face as you gulped down your first chug of Ice Cucumber, then you’d be heartbroken. Pepsi’s Ice Cucumber is more like Crystal Pepsi with green food coloring. Although, I was able to detect something minty. The mint was probably intended to cool you down. So far, the best Pepsi I’ve had in Japan was Pepsi Gold. It came out around Christmas time and had a bit of a ginger bread flavor, kind of cinnamon like.

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I’ve joined the masses and created a Lolcat of my own. I spared this guy’s life and ate the rooster thus allowing him to live a few more days until hungry Vietnamese tore him apart.

The turtle soup didn’t sound so bad after knowing they eat cat soup. Poor poor lol kitty. He can’t has cheezburger, kitty is cheezburger.

What is Golden Week? I’m not really sure but it has something to do with taking a vacation in celebration of children, trees, constitutions, substitutes, and Showa. For me though, it means escaping the robot factory and traveling over seas. For 10 days Theresa and I enjoyed a relaxing time in Boracay, Philippines, Hong Kong and Macau (note: the final two days were spent on the potty).

Our first full day was spent at Hong Kong Disney. Did you know Goofy sounds just as much a retard in Chinese as he does in English? GuhhAAARshoo! The park is very similar to all the Magic Kingdoms except it’s missing quite a few rides. They don’t have an Adventure Land, but they have Pirate Land; A land which doesn’t have Pirates of the Caribbean. Space Mountain was quite dull and the Jungle Cruise isn’t any funnier when you have Mao Ling pointing out the backside of water. Although it has many shortcomings I still felt quite at home on Main Street.

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The office enkai is some sort of drinking and eating party designed to get everyone acquainted with each other. There are four new teachers in the first grade, and since I’ve, for some reason, been placed with the first grade teachers, they asked me to join them. I actually like the new teachers, maybe it’s because they actually try talking to me. It was also pleasant to hear the new English teacher explain to me that we had just three more days left till the weekend. I found her eagerness to finish the week to be quite warming to my soul.

There’s a new history teacher who really gets a kick out of talking to me. We chatted it up a bit about beers until it started to get strange. He asked me if Budweiser had a nickname… “Bud?” That wasn’t it. He backed his seat up and started pointing to his crotch and waving his hand over the region as if to say, “I’m this big and I come in three different colors and styles!” I was floored, he saw my confusion then explained it a little bit clearer. He was under the impression that in America we call our Johnson rods, ‘Budweisers’. Anyways, this just tipped me off that he must be gay.

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