DearScotty

… be messin with my tubes and konnekshunz.

After enduring a three hour delay, putting up with screaming kids on the plane, and having a piece of luggage lost, Theresa and I are back in Japan. Thankfully we transitioned nicely since we were welcomed home with a beautiful clear day. Now that school has begun, the skies have been re-tuned to TV gray and are waiting to piss on us. Oh Southern California, how I miss your blue skies and your cool crisp December afternoons.

Christmas recap: Presents were purchased and received. Families and Friends were seen and neglected. Food was eaten and forgotten.

New Years and Vegas recap: Alcohol was consumed and spilled. Balderdash delighted and pained. Money won and lost, but mostly won. Bubble baths were fun and messy. Buffets were conquered and deeply missed. Carnegie Deli sandwiches amazed and perplexed.

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I have been constantly baffled every time I enter a men’s bathroom in Japan. I will undoubtedly find a drenched floor in front of every urinal. One might think that Japanese men stand too far back from the urinal and thus have a tendency to spill. But that couldn’t be further from the truth as Japanese men appear to be getting sucked in by a urinal vortex. It’s possible they start before they reach the porcelain goal line, but I haven’t exactly witnessed early touchdowns. I concluded that the Japanese men lack the concept of completely emptying the well. There are many methods to choose from but it seems the Japanese men prefer to walk away while the faucet’s still running.

Well, my mind was blown again when I came across this article on the intertubes:

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On my way home from school I spotted this gem:

Maybe this explains why the Japanese don’t trust foreigners. They think we turn into werewolves no matter the time of day or moon cycle. We also have amazing body shrinking skills.

Instead of trying to piece together another Thanksgiving holiday in Japan, Theresa and I abandoned the kitchen and took a night bus to Tokyo. For that taste of home we decided to spend the weekend at Tokyo Disney. Unfortunately for us, our bus arrived in Tokyo around 10am on Friday. We would do Disneyland first since Friday would be our shortest day, but we didn’t expect that it would sell out! We arrived at Disneyland just after 11am and were welcomed with apologies from the overhead announcements informing us that Disneyland had stopped all ticket sales until 5pm that night.

There wasn’t anything we could do but hang out in their version of Downtown Disney which they call Ikspiari. We ate a decent burger and fries meal at Planet Hollywood and enjoyed some coffees at a cute bakery. We went into every shop trying to kill as much time as possible but later decided to wait near the gates until they reopened the ticket booths.

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I’ve learned two things this week. 1. I don’t have the half moon on my pinkie nails any longer. 2. I don’t have to double space after completed sentences. Apparently I’ve held on to the practice of double spacing from the typewriter days. Computers have corrected typewriters with proportional spacing so it makes it easier to catch the difference between sentences.

Because this week is reserved for testing, I have no classes. I also don’t have hair on the top of my pointer finger above the first joint. All my other fingers have hair there. I also completed the 10k gold “fun” level on desktop tower defense with a score of 23,500.

Japan is boring but! but! Theresa and I are going to Tokyo Disney and DisneySea this 3-day weekend. Let the jealousy help warm my frozen toes.

It feels like only recently that I was picking up ice-cold Pocari Sweats on my way to school in the morning. Now, instead of something to cool me off when I reach school, I’m picking up the hot teas and coffees. There’s about one week of autumn where every thing is nice, no rain, partly cloudy, dew sparkles on the rice fields, and a fresh smell in the air. Next thing you know, your hands are freezing, and icicles start forming on your eyebrows. Then all the flashbacks of the horrible winter the year before strike you like a lighting bolt of sleet. Soon, I’ll be wearing ear muffs, two coats, scarves and gloves. The weather is so extreme here that you forget about anything else. When it was steaming hot, I couldn’t imagine how on earth this place could ever cool down. Now that I’ve frozen three toes off, I wonder how this place ever gets warm.

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Patriots vs Colts, the battle of the undefeated. Which powerhouse would come out still holding onto their perfect record? With 10 minutes to go in the fourth quarter and trailing 20-10, the Patriots make a run for the end-zone. Tom Brady does his thing and tosses a short touchdown pass to bring the Patriots within three (after the point after is good). The Colts get the ball back and seem to have something going but after getting hit with a few penalties, have to punt the ball over. The Patriots now have four minutes to take the lead. Oh the suspense!! “Excuse me, I am Kazo. I am English teacher.”

WTF??!!?!?!!!??? Well, I guess that answered my question. Eguchi is gone and replaced by a very young male teacher. He showed me his lesson plan which was all in Japanese and then thanked me. I hadn’t checked my schedule since I knew today was an off day. No Eguchi sensei meant no classes on Monday, which meant football. I was due in his first class in 5 minutes. I was not formally introduced, or informed of Eguchi’s plight.

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As I rode my bike to school today I was passed by this car:

I wasn’t able to tell if the driver was in fact a whore.

I haven’t taught the second year jr. high students since July 9. I almost had a class with them in September but it was canceled since I had a meeting later on in the day. Eguchi sensei approached me and asked if I could present on my summer vacation. Before I could finish telling him that I thought it was a good idea, another English teacher came up to us and told Eguchi that I had a meeting and couldn’t teach that day. I interrupted and said it was OK. I could teach morning class, but would just miss the last class of the day. The other English teacher spoke to Eguchi in Japanese and when that was done, Eguchi apologized to me and said he would teach alone. I haven’t seen him since.

I would like to ask around and find out where the guy is but, I’m afraid that might point out that I haven’t been teaching for a few months. No complaints here. So, Eguchi sensei, if you’re reading this, please let me know how you’re doing. I think you’re a great guy.